Ready, Ready, Ready...Ready to Run

I was never a quitter. Growing up, I stayed with things until I could no longer. Although I was a clutz with no grace, I stayed with ballet until my teacher moved. Although I was 5'4" and wanted (to no avail) be a forward, I stuck with basketball until I graduated from high school. Although I was always the second-chair saxophone (but desperately wanted to be first), I never quit.

I was not a quitter, but somewhere, my too-tight anus gave out; I stopped being a perfectionist. It was gradual in college, but TFA just forced me into quitting things. I was forced into chasing non-profit pipe dreams that they told me were impossible. "Every child deserves a chance" I was told at every turn of my training...then as my first year of teaching unraveled, they discreetly told me, "there are some kids you can't change. You can't sacrifice other students' education for theirs." So, I gave up on "saving" some. And thus began my love affair with quitting. When a brilliant unit plan wasn't delivering, what was I advised? "Do what works..." quit what you're doing and make the best with what you have.

Now, quitting is far too commonplace for me. As soon as something loses my peak interest or presents too much of a challenge, I peace out. In the last year or so, things I've quit: teaching, softball team, reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X and many others. Things I started but have conveniently "not had enough time for": surfing, playing the guitar and writing my novel. Now I've got a whole new slew of things that I don't want to quit, but I've tempted to run from because I'm challenged: creating my freelance Web site, working on long stories at the job and trying to figure out dating.

Yes, I want to quit many things. When things get challenging, I prefer to ingore the challenge and quit. However, I look at the things that I did quit and the things that I have wanted to quit, and there is one striking difference. I haven't quit the latter. For some reason something keeps me going. My life would be simpler without those things, which aren't completely necessary, and I'm sure I'd be just as happy if I did quit. But the challenges I've faced haven't been enough to make me run...just enough to make me ready to.