Screaming Through the Ethernet

Not really sure at all why I decided to post today. Just feel like screaming, and I can't do that. So, what is the next best thing? Turning to an old, run-down blog that nobody knows about or remembers if they do. And just posing the rhetorical question, what the heck did I get myself into? Just wish I could go back to last summer and hit the reset button. So many mistakes. A few good choices, too. But, more mistakes than not. Frustrated. Frustrated. Frustrated.

I suppose we all feel a bit like failures at some point in our lives. But no matter how many times we feel that...not sure that it ever gets better.

Must remember, deep breaths. DEEP BREATHS.

Update

Oh, yeah...so this blog will be out of commission for a while. Now that I'm traveling, I have a travelblog going, and two at the same time was just a little much for me.

If you want to visit the new blog, go to www.ususbaby.com.

And They All Fall Down

One by one, the things of my life are disappearing. Before I left for Missouri, my bedroom became a bare room. On Sunday I sold my living room furniture. Yesterday, I sold my old computer to Sony. Today was the biggest sale of them all; my truck is no longer my truck. I think Devante went to a good home. But I'm still pretty sad.

But do you know how freeing it is to have so few earthly possessions?

Before I Go

Of course there's always family and friends that I'll miss. But on my few previous stints abroad, I missed the weirdest things. Like having anti-perspirant readily available. Or watching baseball games on TV. Or dancing to R&B music without people staring at me like I'm a freak with three heads.

But what I'm pretty sure I'll miss most about America isn't even American. I love Mexican food and being in L.A. for the past four years, I've had lots of good Mexican food. Lately, I've been ODing on any place that serves guacamole, though, and the thought of not having it so available is freaking me out. So, if you know of any good Mexican restaurant in Beijing, let me know.

Ain't No Sunshine

This weekend, the fam and I ate at Steak 'n' Shake (ah, gotta love the Midwest). I noticed my sister was super tan, so we were comparing skin colors. I was the palest of us all. And this even includes my white dad and brother.

I can't wait to get some color on this skin o' mine.

The Show-Me Weather

Saturday's weather was a definite reminder of how much I love equinox seasons of Missouri. Perfectly sunny, a light breeze, and just enough humidity to keep my skin moist but without making me sweat. Ahhh!

Yesterday and today are definitely "hot" qualifiers...but I still LOVE Missouri (non-ice) weather. In fact, I know I love Missouri in general. The weather, the sports teams, the general politeness of people...

Sign Language

I've often stumbled through life looking everywhere for signs. Literally and, probably more often, figuratively I'm constantly searching for definite signs to provide a definite message.

Today, though, I realize that some of those literal signs are just as powerful as the figurative ones I'm seeking.

Remember back when I was quitting teaching, and I got annoyed that I wasn't able to take my welcome-to-my-classroom sign down? Well, once again I'm realizing how final the taking down and putting up of signs are. Today, Devante (my truck, in case you were unaware), began sporting two new "For Sale" signs. Although I'd posted ads online and in my office before today, this just seems so much more final. And for every moment I'm in my dearly beloved truck, I'll be constantly reminded of the fact that he's no longer mine. I know it's silly and that I really shouldn't be this attached to a vehicle, but I can't help but feel a bit sad and helpless.

I just hope he goes to a good home.