The movie came out when I was a junior in high school, and for some reason, it resonated with me. I'm not exactly sure why. I think it was the fact that Jules (Julia Roberts) didn't want the perfect guy until she couldn't have him anymore -- something I could see happening to myself.
The movie also prompted me and one of my closest guy friends to jokingly say we would get married if neither of us was by age 27...and at that time 27 seemed ancient.
That friend recently called my parents' house for my new address. He's getting married next month. Actually, the wedding is in a week and a half. The news isn't quite as disturbing as Jules' news (I knew he was engaged), but it still doesn't settle well. Unlike the My Best Friend's Wedding relationship, I never had a relationship with this guy...and I don't feel romantic urges toward him with the news. But it has caused me to contemplate where I am and what kind of person I am.
Am I like Jules? Am I commitment phobic? Could I ever chase someone else who is commitment phobic? Will I ever say what's on my mind before it's too late? Does unavailability make a guy more attractive to me? Is the chase the best part?
Or can I do vicarious learning via Julia Roberts, Dermot Mulroney and Cameron Diaz?
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5 comments:
You can do vicarious leraning via Dermot Mulroney---at least he was a sports writer!
OMG! I was JUST talking about this yesterday. I have a guy friend too, we always said that we'd get married if we weren't married by 27--that exact age, too. He's now already been married and divorced. And yes, I'm questioning myself, too. Michelle and I are always talking about "the chase." It's like, when a guy likes me, I'm just not feelin' it. But when he gets a girl, I'm instantly jealous and attracted to him. It's stupid. Ugh. xo, Tina
What, is December the new June? Everyone's getting married! Yeah, 27 seemed really old when we were back in high school. Now everything's different. I don't think marriage is for everyone. And the idea that you should marry your best friend has always been a possibility. (When Harry Met Sally) But I think fate steps in and puts the choice in front of you when it's time. Would you have thought one year ago that I would be married by December 2005? Me either!!! It's okay to be afraid of commitment (remember Julia Roberts ran away from her wedding in real life?) But I think when it's supposed to happen it will. Not everyone needs to be married. I just wanted to be married and everything else fell into place. Once I told a teacher at school that if I didn't get married by the time I was 30 I was going to walk around with a sign saying "Yes I'll Marry You - I Don't Care Who You Are!) and that I would marry a homeless person!!! Luckily I didn't have to do that...ha ha. Love you! Just keep being you. There's nothing wrong with how you feel!
You could always stop worrying about it and just enjoy life, which it seems like you're pretty good at already.
I have to say Jayna that it is easier to be out of a relationship than in one. Less chance of being hurt by someone. Less chance of wondering if something you do will ever change the other person's mind about you. I was happy when I was single. I am happy now with Justin, but if you recall...I didn't call head over heels for him like some fairytale. I took time for me to realize that this is the person that I would like to spend the rest of my life with. Even though he doesn't do the dishes and snores at night. You just fall in love with the whole person when the time is right for you....and remember being married isn't the end all, be all. There are many different forms of life success and I don't think marriage is necessarily one of them.
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