Preface: On a trip to NYC, Fiscus and I discussed our friends' dating habits (but not in the normal girly way -- come on, it was me and Fiscus). She made the comment that one of our common friends would be married shortly after he decided he wanted to, "Guys like him flip on a switch that says 'Open for Marriage' and have 30 girls to choose from."
Today I arrived at work to a pleasant surprise. Cute IT boy had sent me an email. At first I thought it was a mass message. Then, I assumed it was by accident. Up until today the most we'd said to each other was "Hello." However, upon reading, I realized he'd asked how my Saturday night at Beaches went. Hmmm...I didn't know I was going there until Saturday morning, and I definitely didn't tell anyone from work. I decided he was stalking me. Turns out he wasn't, but had seen me as I crossed the street to go home. We ended up telling the abbreviated tales of our lives, and during the conversation he casually mentioned his girlfriend.
Previously, anytime a cute guy mentioned his gal pal, I cringed with sadness. This time, however, I wasn't disappointed. Yes, it partly could be because I've been recently entertained by my own male diversion, but by age 24, I've come to expect this. I can think of maybe two or three guys I know who should be taken and aren't. I mean, nearly every semi-attractive male with a decent personality has a girlfriend. I don't think the same can be said for girls. I know many gals who are cute and great catches but have been chasing boyfriends for years. How many guys do we know that actually want a girlfriend but don't have one? (And is it sexist of me to think girls often settle but guys rarely do?)
See, guys have this little light above them that they flip on, "Open for Dating" it states for all elgible (and some taken) girls to see. Girls are like moths to their neon-light sign, and soon the guy flips the switch back off (although some sleazy ones play with their lights, flipping them on and off again when they feel like it).
And when the guys' "Open for Marriage" sign flips on, girls are afraid others will see it and jump into the relationship and may get married before they had wanted. However, when girls flip on their "Open for Marriage" sign, guys generally run the other way. There is no line of elgible bachelors saying, "Wow! She'll make a great wife!"
As for my sign: although I haven't been taken since I've been in SoCal, until late spring my "Open for Dating" light was off because my mind was on other things. Now, the last few weeks I don't know what kind of sign it should be. Some days I think it should be off, others it's on. Today, though, I guess my flashing sign said, "Open for Friendship."
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5 comments:
I always loved that episode of Sex and the City where they talked about that. I totally understand what you are talking about but take my relationship to be the only time where the opposite is true. I know that Justin wants to be with me but I am never sure that I do well in relationships. Sometimes I think that I would just be better on my own with someone once in awhile there to make me feel so un-lonely.
Girls do settle, and guys don't, and that's not sexist. My roommate and I talk about this because there are girls like you and I who actually don't settle. I didn't think my standards were that high (OK, that sounds horrible) till Adam pointed out that while they're not unreachable, they're still my standards. And good for girls like us for sticking to them.
But you both know that I'm not one of those girls who spent time looking for a boyfriend (not that either of you are either). Partly because "relationships" are a little more work than I like, and I don't settle. I mean I couldn't even settle when I bought a couch. How can I settle for a guy?
So all I have to do is (a) become semi-attractive, (b) get a non-boring-law student personality and (c) turn on my "sign" and I'll get a girlfriend?
I call female shenanigans!
I know guys who settle, AND I know plenty of single guys who far exceed the minimum criteria you have here. And they're still single, though they'd rather not be. We really don't have it as easy as you think we do!
Like I said before...I may be sexist...
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