"How is the job?"

Well, sometimes I feel like I'm lying when I tell people about my work at Harlem RBI. It's not that I mean to. I just can't decide how I feel about it. I love the program. I think it's an awesome concept. It's so neat to see kids who love sports getting a free and "fun" reading program. It's also just as great to see kids who love reading playing a team sport for the first time in their entire lives.

But, do I like what I'm doing? Yes. No. Both. I mean, technically it should be easy, right? I'm at the school from 9-1 each day. 9:15ish-11 is reading time with leveled reading classes, which includes book clubs, silent reading and then independent reading. Two college "interns" (RBI's slaves) help out for most of this time, but leave for a meeting for 1/2-hour, and then come back at 11. From 11-12:20 is clubhouse time; kids are now with their baseball/softball teams (balanced for reading and playing abilities)--they do important things like discuss team issues (who pushed whom and got mad, who called someone "dirty," who cheered a lot yesterday), do team-building activities, and then work on a clubhouse project. This time is generally led by the coaches. Then, it's lunch. Then I go home. So really, I'm only teaching for 1:45 each day. Four days a week (Fridays I'm a field-trip chaperone). And I get paid well for this.

I still find it hard, though. 5th and 6th graders are FAR different from 8th graders. They do not understand what "attention" or "directions" truly are. I've got the lowest-level readers. Thus, that means students who are truly low-level readers, ESL students, students who don't like taking school or tests seriously, students with learning disabilities and students with behavioral disorders. One kid can't sound out words. Another constantly plays with his cup (he's ADD). Another flips out with any kind of reprimand. I wanted a challenge, and I got it. By the way, it's also un-air-conditioned. When it's 105 (with the humidity), everybody gets cranky.

Thus, this summer has been trying in the mornings for me. I left on a high note with my Nimitz kids, but this job has reminded me of why I am not meant to be a teacher. This is not my calling. It is definitely not my passion. My afternoons are spent working on journalism gigs or trying to find a permanent job once I get back to LA. This excites me. I LOVE it. I know this is what I'm meant to do.

Today, however, I didn't rush home at 1 to work on the story that's due tomorrow. Instead, I went to watch my team (from clubhouse and lunch time) play a game. They've been asking me all week why I never go watch them (most/all of the other teachers have). So, with the weather much cooler today, I decided to push back my work time. Today was game #10 for them. They'd been down because they'd only won one game so far. Today was win #2. They were so cute. They kept telling me throughout the game that I was their good luck charm. Crap. Guess that means they want me to come back more often. But, I have to admit: it was the first time all summer that I really felt like they knew that I cared. It was the first time all summer that I really enjoyed my job.

But I'm still going back to journalism.