I just got home from seeing the film version of Rent. It was an OK movie. Well, actually, I thought it was a terrible movie, but I still had a great time and loved all 2.5 hours of it. No, it's not because I love stories that depict New York (I'm going there on Thursday). It's not because I'm in love with Jesse Martin (I can watch him on Law & Order any day). It's not because I thought Rosario Dawson was hot, either (I don't want to be a stripper.). It was because the music sent shivers down my spine. Just like in the musical.
Movie critics, who aren't musical critics, have said the music is hokey and cheesey. I don't agree. Perhaps I'm still a little naive and innocent, but I don't think the music is an unrealistic view of life. Just like many of the rest of us in our early 20s, the characters are trying to find out who they are. They are trying to figure out how to express themselves. Mark tries through his film, but in reality that's where he hides. Roger, a singer and songwriter, has been unable to compose any words or music.
And how many of us lack the words when we so desperately want them? There are times when I plan out the perfect monologue or preface to a conversation, then fail at finding the courage to say what I should. Then, there are the times when I am caught completely off guard and have no chance to say what is in my head or heart.
I still find the idea of discussing feelings or questioning if I actually like someone to be extremely exhausting and painstaking. Words with others don't come easy. And asking questions that may never be answered is even more difficult. Expressing myself makes me want to puke.
However, like every other time I listen to the music of Rent, I remind myself that I must remember the words of Mimi. "No Day but Today." We must let go, to know what's right...
*what can't be said...I even edited this again after posting
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3 comments:
Dude. I f-ing love that musical, and if anyone gives you crap for liking Rent, send 'em my way. I got your back sista.
ooh good entry j. i, too, suck at expressing myself. i get nervous. i either run, cry or yell, depending on what i want to say. perhaps that's why we're writer. xo, tina michelle smithers
The most powerful and useful quote I have ever seen is not the quote you took from "Rent," it is your quote: "Expressing myself makes me want to puke." I think deep inside we all feel that way!!!
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