Some advice CC was once given: "In view of the brevity of life, it never hurts to tell someone you care about them." Often when we care for someone (in whatever capacity) or appreciate what someone did for us, we often overlook thanking them. We assume they know they are good people or that they are loved. But do they? That is one of the big lessons I've learned from teaching. Positive reinforcement and positive remarks can never be too many. Yes, there will be times in our romantic lives when we have to hold in how we really feel about someone so as not to scare them off too soon. But, on the other hand, if we truly care about them, we would care more about making them happy (letting them know they're loved) than about seeming a fool. I'd rather be a fool than a jerk. Unfortunately, I often am the jerk, though.
So, I question why I am the jerk. Why is it I hide when I care about someone? Because of this, I hate my sister, for instance. She is the good daughter who takes care of the family. No wonder my parents liked her more when we were growing up. She tells us she loves us and shows it. I am the worst daughter/sister ever. Although, when inebriated (sp?) I can confess lust for strangers, why can I not tell other males just how special they are (in any state)? Not telling people they are cared for, will probably be my only regret in life. Why is it that I hide my romantic/sexual life (or lack thereof) whenever possible? Why is it that I avoid talking about religion or telling people I go to church every week? Why do I avoid situations in which I have to talk about my personal life and beliefs? Why do I hide so much? I am happy with who I am.
In view of the brevity of life, it never hurts to be honest about ourselves and tell others the truth about ourselves or them. Yes. I would like to believe that. But, I avoided certain topics once again at lunch, and my students left today without fully knowing just how special they are or how much they have changed me. Grrr!
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2 comments:
Well, Sis, I love you too! You must remember, there are always two sides to everything. I do realize the frustration that must come along with not revealing one's true feelings. But it is a double edge sword. I am the one who is always out there, putting my heart on my sleeve, only to have it ripped off, snot rubbed on it, or somehow, be abused. So, I envy you! I wish that I had more control over my emotions and that they didn't rise to the surface as often. Maybe it would save me some heartache. Then again, maybe not?
We all get snot rubbed on our hearts whether we wear them on our sleeves or hide them tucked away. It is difficult to tell others how we feel. There is an element of risk to it. Just like apologizing, proposing, buying a new car, asking for something, etc.
The mystery of life lies in the unknown - we never know what is going to happen next. But (depending on your beliefs) we only live once and you can't ever feel accomplishment or satisfaction if you don't risk!
You're taking a risk by leaving and going to NY. One step at a time. Eventually you may be able to tell others how you feel, but right now most of us already know. It's your actions - your smile, thoughtful conversation, beautiful eyeshadow (does that count?) and caring concern for others - not your words that tell us (and your family and your students) how you feel.
My mom told me to accept that my brother is NEVER going to call me or write to me. She said we have to love others for who they are. We love you whether you tell us or not!!! (I must be getting old because I keep quoting my mother!)
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