This part of my life, I call thinking: Because I'm an American, I've apparently got that unalienable right to pursue happiness. Yes! I get to pursue happiness!!! This is amazing. There's happiness...and I get to chase it. Woohoo!
Pardon my sarcasm, but whoop-de-freaking-do. I don't even know what happiness is, let alone know how to pursue it. I mean, I'm a generally happy, optimistic person (as you can tell from my current post), but "happiness"? I've got no clue what happiness means to me, so how the heck am I supposed to pursue it? And why is it that I only get to pursue it? Why do I not have the right to happiness? I wish TJ were here to explain THAT to me.
OK, maybe I don't need good ol' Tommy to come and tell me it's because happiness is different for everyone, but I wouldn't mind some assistance in helping figure out what happiness means to me. For some people, I do believe that money buys them happiness, but as I've come to realize over the past couple of days, it's not money that makes me happy. I'm not the cut-throat girl at work that slithers her way in to making as much money as possible. I can't be. And even on the day that I make the most money ever at job #2, the thing that made me most happy was when the two kids of some hotel guests remembered me two days later and ran up to give me hugs.
So then I start to wonder if it's a family that will make me happy. Should I just marry a pretty-much-fabulous guy and start our family of two plus 2.5? Ugh. So not appealing right now. And I know I would grow to resent the family and feel as though I never got to live the life I wanted first.
So what is that life? One traveling the globe and hopping from country to country? Perhaps. But I imagine that the traveling life for too long would become one of loneliness.
Then what is it that would be the "happyness" chapter of my life? Like Chris Gardner (in the movie, at least), I'd probably at least start it by asking for everything to be spelled correctly. Good spelling always makes me happy. At least I know that.
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2 comments:
Agreed princess. I'm still trying to figure out what makes me happy. xoxoxo, Tina
PS I stink at reading blogs lately, I need to catch up on your stuff!
Princess, I bumped across your short note on 'my happiness'. I can relate to what you feel, rater mean! Marrying is certainly not a good way to pursue happiness. Or may be for few... I am not depressed :-) not at all, but also think what more in life - apart from a partner... sorry, vague thoughts!
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