Do You Still Think I'm Crazy?

Those of you who questioned why I give my parents a Christmas Wish List:















This is one of the gifts I got this year that wasn't on my list. A floral tool set.

My Best Friend's Wedding

The movie came out when I was a junior in high school, and for some reason, it resonated with me. I'm not exactly sure why. I think it was the fact that Jules (Julia Roberts) didn't want the perfect guy until she couldn't have him anymore -- something I could see happening to myself.

The movie also prompted me and one of my closest guy friends to jokingly say we would get married if neither of us was by age 27...and at that time 27 seemed ancient.

That friend recently called my parents' house for my new address. He's getting married next month. Actually, the wedding is in a week and a half. The news isn't quite as disturbing as Jules' news (I knew he was engaged), but it still doesn't settle well. Unlike the My Best Friend's Wedding relationship, I never had a relationship with this guy...and I don't feel romantic urges toward him with the news. But it has caused me to contemplate where I am and what kind of person I am.

Am I like Jules? Am I commitment phobic? Could I ever chase someone else who is commitment phobic? Will I ever say what's on my mind before it's too late? Does unavailability make a guy more attractive to me? Is the chase the best part?

Or can I do vicarious learning via Julia Roberts, Dermot Mulroney and Cameron Diaz?

Redheads Can't Be More Fun

I saw two more today...1/2-Asian kids that are the product of an Asian and a redhead.

The first time I saw one of these kids, I was at Columbia University in NYC. The walking toddler had fire-engine-red hair but Asian eyes. Looking at this kid, I saw a lifetime of taunting for how he looked, and I vowed to never, EVER, marry a redhead. And since dating/sex is typically what leads to marriage/kids, I have vowed to never even date guys with red hair.

There were a few close calls, but unless An tries setting me up with another redhead, I and my possibly future offspring are safe.

I mean, imagine Carrottop with slanted eyes. Not pretty, huh?

A Surprise

I got the bestest early Christmas present ever today. I got a surprise in my mailbox after Christmas shopping today, and I haven't been this happy, relieved or positive about my life in a long time. And tomorrow I'm paying off my credit card bill. In full.

Maybe there is such a thing as Santa. Because this is probably what I would have put on a real wish list for Christmas. And it's not from anyone I know. So, Joy to My World.

Sincerely, Jayna

After I made two separate comments in the past month, I was told, "That didn't sound very sincere."

That means that either:
a) I'm not sincere, and I'm just saying things that I think will sound nice
b) I am sincere, but my voice is just not conveying my true feelings
c) I'm masking my attempt at sincerity through a sarcastic voice

After much deliberation, I'm pretty sure it's C.

Allergic to My Sub-concious

My health insurance will officially begin with the new year. As I get older, I find it interesting as to what is actually covered under insurance. For instance, one of the other people at my company recently went to a hypnotist, so she could quit smoking. And this was covered!

My colleagues and I thus discussed the possibility of hypnotism actually working. The pamphlet said that it could cure everything from smoking, weight problems to allergies. Now at first, allergies seem to be an odd thing to throw in there. But once I started thinking about what allergies actually are (our sub-concsious brain telling our body to react to something that actually isn't harmful), I started to believe this could work.

Then, I started thinking about all the other things I could be hypnotized for. Could my sub-concious be hypnotized to make me work out, could it be hypnotized to make me sing on key, or could it be hypnotized to make me nicer?

Last night was my friend Mark's annual Sophis Chris. Apparently at last year's (when I probably had a little too much wine), I told one girl her boyfriend was the ugliest guy I'd ever seen. We're friends, and she was laughing as she reminded me of it. Unfortunately, I don't remember saying it. Fortunately, they're broken up now. I don't know why I would be that cruel, though. And he's not even truly ugly. Geez, I'm evil. Bring on the hypnotist. Soon, please.

Naked Nina News

Nina has landed! According to reports from her parents, Nina was scheduled to land TODAY in Minnesota. She will be back in Iowa at the end of this week.

For those who don't know Nina, she's quite possibly the most amazing person in the world. She has just finished her two-year stint in the Peace Corps in the land of Togo. She worked two-and-a-half years with MU Res life and was one of the only roommates I ever had who I could share any and all belongings with. She is also one of those people that had the uncanny ability to make me smile no matter how rotten my day...just by being her. Not silly. Not overly optimistic. Just Nina.

She's one of the most inspirational people I know. When I made a list of things that inspired me, Nina was written down. She was one of two people who were "things" on that list. She makes me want to be a better person.

In honor of Nina's return, I'll list my favorite thoughts on Nina:
1. just like every other girl I know from Iowa, she drove a Grand Prix in college
2. her license plate said JPII...in honor of the then Pope
3. she loved Shakey's (Shake's) almost as much as I did
4. she loved Harpo's almost as much as I did (OK, that's probably a lie...I don't think anyone loved Harpo's as much as I did)
5. she ran a marathon
6. she was brilliant but didn't stress about grades
7. she was on RLife with me
8. she worked at the Missourian with me
9. Fayette became like a second home to her when she covered it
10. she was a strict C.A.
11. she broke the rules
12. W.T. Hoover
13. convincing her that she told Richard a story that she hadn't
14. introducing me to Drew
15. baseball games
16. introducing me to Heather
17. introducing me to my junior/senior college roommates -- who became some of my closest college friends
18. calling her dad for help with our magazine
19. playing cards with her sisters and An at her Stephen's apartment
20. getting a great going-away present as I embarked on teaching
21. telling Nina to watch out for the ice by Fieldhouse...then falling on my butt
22. eating at Booche's with her fam
23. lots of Sunday evening's at Boone Tavern
24. stories I heard about her from Freshman year
25. It's Nina. There are so many things to love!

Clemency

n. a: disposition to be merciful and esp. to moderate the severity of punishment due b: an act of instance of leniency
Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, Tenth Edition 2001

I honestly don't know exactly how I feel about the death penalty. I'm probably 95% against it, but my personal fears wins about 5% of a favor for it.

However, 100% of me is against the execution that will be carried out in a little over two hours. Stanley "Tookie" Williams allegedly commited the crimes for which he will die before I was even born. I have no idea what South Central LA was like back then. I know what it's like now, though, and the fact that he was a founder of a gang does not make me think less of him as a person.

I do think better of him for what he has done during my lifetime. Nobody has disputed his sincerity in ending his gang life and keeping kids from joining gangs. His life has become an iconic one, and his change is one that should be celebrated. The fact that a punishment that was dealt out nearly 25 years ago is carried out tonight seems to be unjust. Things change. People change. (How much have you changed since 1981?) But the death penalty doesn't allow for it.

And as the execution draws near, the fact that clemency was not granted in this case has truly made me consider my views on the death penalty. Until the last few years I was pretty much indifferent. But as I become more cold and less caring in my personal life, I find myself becoming more compassionate and merciful in my political views.

No matter how I feel, though, the execution will be carried out, and sometime late tomorrow morning, one Californian will try to go to sleep as he remembers he just killed a man.

$5 Million

As my debt and bills continue to pile up, I thought about how much money it would take to make me financially happy. On my way to an event for the non-profit for which I volunteer, I started adding up how much money I would need in order to have what I wanted for myself and give what I wanted to others. $5 million was the approximation I came up with. "Whoa! That's a lot!" I thought.

Then I came home, and my roommates suggested they would need more. One said $15 million. When we walked by a Santa Monica condo last night that was for sale for $1.28 million, I realized she may be even more realistic...

So, what exactly would I do with my $5 million?
For myself:
-pay off student loans and car loan
-buy a three-bedroom or two-bedroom with a home office house in South Redondo
-do that stinking around the world trip

For family:
-build my parents a three-bedroom one-level home that is easily accessible for my mother and near the woods or a lake
-pay off my parents' car loans
-buy my sister a two-bedroom home in St. Louis
-put money aside for Trina to go to med school if she wanted
-put money aside for Gabe to go to college

For others:
-give four-year scholarships to any of my past students who attend college
-donate money to WriteGirl
-donate money to Harlem RBI

For career:
-finance Tim's latest venture (not because he's my friend, but because I think he has a great idea)
-launch my own consumer magazine
-launch RLife

Three Days Too Late

I realize the big 2-5 was Monday, but I had to post something about my birthday. It's been a great week because of it.

The night before was a great small group of friends from MU and one from my internship in NYC. The next morning started off pretty terrible, though...waking up in some strange guy's bed (don't be alarmed...I'm just joking a bit; I was staying at my friend's, and her roomie let me sleep in his bed while he was gone). Then, I fell (for my second time in four days) at the Broadway Junction stop in Brooklyn while I was attempting to change trains.

But once I got home, it was near perfect. I landed in LA to 70-degree weather. After dropping off my things, I went for a jog along the beach. As I ran past a lifeguard tower, I recalled that at that time the previous day I'd been ice skating in NYC's Bryant Park. "Ah, I've got a good life goin' here," I thought to myself.

Then, I came home and watched a bit of late-afternoon TV. After that, I went to dinner with nine others. It was an eclectic group, and I had fretted for days over whether or not they would get along or find anything to talk about. It seemed to go well, though. Nobody stormed away from the table. It was just plain good company...and that's not even counting the couple of phone calls, e-mail cards and real cards I was greeted with that day. All served to remind me of all the wonderful people in my life.

Falling asleep Monday night, I thought to myself again, "Ah, I've got a good life goin' here."

One Angry Villager Trying to Get the Others to Wake Up

At the end of my TFA Institute teaching position, the school's librarian gave me a pin that said "It takes a village to raise a child." It was a proverb I'd heard before, but that time it meant something different. It was the first time I realized that I was part of that village, and I was raising "my kids."

I heard the same phrase this weekend in New York. While my hostess slept, I watched HBO Family channel's Middle School Confessions, a documentary with middle school students talking about the issues facing them today. It's a show that I think any middle school teacher or parent (past, present and future) will learn from. It's also a show that I think everyone should watch. (And if it was enough to rouse Emily from her sleep to come and watch it, it has to be good!) [For those who care, it's on 12/18 at 4:35 a.m. and 12/20 at 11:00 p.m. on HBO Family-East.]

After watching the documentary, I kept thinking about villages all weekend long. On Friday I'd had coffee/hot chocolate with the director from Harlem RBI's REAL Kids program. After catching up on our own lives, the first kid I asked about was the one who, after a week of RBI, I said would be out of my regular classroom already. "He's ruining it for all the other kids," had been the jest of my conversation. I think he could've contributed a lot, but unfortunately, his temper toward both adults and kids was too much. However, although he was not able to stay in my classroom, he was still the one I wanted to know about. After hearing a not-so-good update, I asked about a girl who struggled with reading. Then about another boy with a temper problem. And then two girls who got into a fight the last week of the program.

One of those two girls has made a complete turnaround in the last six months. When I heard that, I was happy. She was a difficult child to work with, but for some reason, respect has come about in the past few months. A large part of this change I credit to Harlem RBI. In a village that is strewn with violence and other bad habits, RBI helps raise the kids.

That's what I miss now that I'm not teaching. I do believe that it takes a village to raise a child; and villages raise children to become murderers, racists, lawyers, Christians, artists, drug dealers, avid readers or something else. As teachers, it's much easier to make an impact on a kid's life.

But everyone is responsible for how a child turns out. My parents are only a small portion of the people who raised me. My life was shaped (for good or bad) by everyone else around me: Aunt Opal (who was neither my aunt nor named Opal), the McHenrys, the Parkers, Barb, church camp, my basketball coaches, my tennis coach...and that was just before I graduated from high school.

Unfortunately, not all kids have villagers around them willing to help raise them. Some children are berated by those nearby. Other kids are abused by those they should trust. And still others are simply left to fend for themselves.

But everyone is responsible for everyone else's kids. The world is a village, and all of us are responsible for how every single child lives or dies. When we ignore a child's need for love or friendship, we have no right to condemn that child as an adult when he or she commits acts of violence or sleeps around in a search for love.

On the flip side, I don't know that I'll ever stop wondering what would have happened to the Harlem RBI kid if I'd asked the director to let him stay in my class. I have to remember, though, that I am not a village myself. I am not solely responsible for his failure or success in life. We all are.

It takes a village to raise a child.

My New York Times

People say New York is a fast city. I've decided it is. And that's great.

Yesterday I woke up to have lunch with a friend. Lunch time: 12:30. I woke up at 11:40. I freaked out. I barely got ready. My eyeliner was not in a straight line. I walked the block to the train station. By the time I got to his office building, it was 12:10. So, I walked around taking Christmas pictures.

With three appointments/meetings that day, I wasn't late for one of them. New York Public Transportation and my time works great.