I went through 24 1/2 years of my life without any long-term relationships, and I was more than happy about it. Nobody began to question it until about two years ago. But I was OK with it. Then I met Andy about a year ago. He's what I call a "lifer" . . . where every date turned into a long-term relationship; he recently became fianceed! He couldn't understand why I hadn't ever ventured into the land of girlfriend status. To me it was pretty simple. I just hadn't.
And I was OK with that. Until Anand came along (what is it with these two-syllable "A" guys???). Somewhere in one of our conversations this summer the topic comes up that I've been perpetually boyfriendless (I was more than willing to talk about this at any given time, it seems). Very casually he asks me if I feel weird about that, "because pretty much everyone by 25 has been in at least one long-term relationship." I quickly replied that I didn't care, but then I mentally began going through the list of people I knew in my head. Dang it! He was right. So I started to wonder a little bit. I started to feel like a social pariah.
Now I feel a bit like the 40-year-old virgin. Best if I don't talk about my lack of a past. 'Cause thanks to Andy and Anand, I do feel a little peculiar. Geez. Thanks, guys.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Monday, September 26, 2005
Where'd That Come From?
I went home to AV. I lay on a coach. I put a towel underneath me. I felt some rumbling in my tummy. Then I gave birth.
It was a bizarre dream that I had last night. I remembered in my dream holding the baby to my chest and explaining to my mother that really, I hadn't had sex with anyone in January. This was impossible. Oddly, she didn't care. In my dream, she was just excited to have a grandchild (which I think would be her probable reaction with her recent bout with MS).
Today at work I looked up what it meant to have a dream about giving birth. One bogus site told me that it meant an acting out of my desires or fears and that good news was to follow. I'm not one to think that dreams are predictors, so I kept looking. Another site told me that myself giving birth is a sign of a new idea or new project. It's a symbol of a fresh start. I suppose this whole career-change-thing is quite a fresh start. That's obviously what it meant. Right?
Oddly enough, though, the burning memory of my dream was the fact that the pregnancy didn't cause me to gain weight. I remembered marveling aloud how childbirth hadn't affected my belly or hips and saying "That's what happens when you have them young!" Good to know I'm vain even in my dreams.
It was a bizarre dream that I had last night. I remembered in my dream holding the baby to my chest and explaining to my mother that really, I hadn't had sex with anyone in January. This was impossible. Oddly, she didn't care. In my dream, she was just excited to have a grandchild (which I think would be her probable reaction with her recent bout with MS).
Today at work I looked up what it meant to have a dream about giving birth. One bogus site told me that it meant an acting out of my desires or fears and that good news was to follow. I'm not one to think that dreams are predictors, so I kept looking. Another site told me that myself giving birth is a sign of a new idea or new project. It's a symbol of a fresh start. I suppose this whole career-change-thing is quite a fresh start. That's obviously what it meant. Right?
Oddly enough, though, the burning memory of my dream was the fact that the pregnancy didn't cause me to gain weight. I remembered marveling aloud how childbirth hadn't affected my belly or hips and saying "That's what happens when you have them young!" Good to know I'm vain even in my dreams.
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Jeff Was a Whimp
This week, a few MU friends living in the OC came up to visit. Because our other friend didn't get here until nearly 10, we took a while making it out to the Hermosa Pier. We made our way to Sharkeez, which RJ described by saying "I feel like I'm in college again."
Four beers later, and the clock having struck midnight a time back, I made my way back home. When I got to work 10 minutes early the next day, I couldn't help but think of Jeff, my "boss" from my summer interning for a certain New York baseball team. He was 25 at the time, and he would often laugh at me when I relayed my tales of previous nights. He once went out in the middle of the week with his friends to Off the Wagon and came dragging in the next day and could do nothing. He said it was because he'd gotten too old for that.
Now, not that I plan on having Sharkeez all the time mid-week, but really, it was doable. Two Tylenol the next morning and I was good as new. But I did have a lot of pictures to erase from my camera. For some reason I thought all the grinding people were doing was funny. And I took pictures. Guess I'm getting too whimpy for that.
Here's the only picture that's decent:
Four beers later, and the clock having struck midnight a time back, I made my way back home. When I got to work 10 minutes early the next day, I couldn't help but think of Jeff, my "boss" from my summer interning for a certain New York baseball team. He was 25 at the time, and he would often laugh at me when I relayed my tales of previous nights. He once went out in the middle of the week with his friends to Off the Wagon and came dragging in the next day and could do nothing. He said it was because he'd gotten too old for that.
Now, not that I plan on having Sharkeez all the time mid-week, but really, it was doable. Two Tylenol the next morning and I was good as new. But I did have a lot of pictures to erase from my camera. For some reason I thought all the grinding people were doing was funny. And I took pictures. Guess I'm getting too whimpy for that.
Here's the only picture that's decent:
A Flight Plan
I love travel because I get to see new places and meet new, interesting people. And the people. How I love bringing new people into my life. But why? I like having many acquaintances but not many "friends". I hate telling people private things about my life. I hate having my friends meet each other. I hate having people find out about my past. And that's why I like to travel. I am able to meet people, make friends with them and leave before they begin to see anything that could be a flaw (not that I have those or anything . . . ).
I've said that vulnerability is the most painful emotion that I can feel. It's one thing to be rejected by someone I don't know. It's another for people to reject me after they've gotten to know me. So, now I have to figure out if that's the only reason I want to travel. (I've been considering for months taking a year-long trip around the world to many third-world countries) To add more stamps to my passport and names to an address book? But all the while hide in a suitcase. And not make any meaningful relationships or friendships.
I spend so long projecting a Jaynar that's different on the outside that when someone sees my private life, other friends or my past, it's not what's expected. And I've spent so much energy on making surface Jaynar likable (although I'm not claiming success in that area, either), that once the suitcase is opened, it's empty. Once it's opened up, I've already moved on to someone/somewhere else. It's just much easier padlocking that sucker shut.
I've said that vulnerability is the most painful emotion that I can feel. It's one thing to be rejected by someone I don't know. It's another for people to reject me after they've gotten to know me. So, now I have to figure out if that's the only reason I want to travel. (I've been considering for months taking a year-long trip around the world to many third-world countries) To add more stamps to my passport and names to an address book? But all the while hide in a suitcase. And not make any meaningful relationships or friendships.
I spend so long projecting a Jaynar that's different on the outside that when someone sees my private life, other friends or my past, it's not what's expected. And I've spent so much energy on making surface Jaynar likable (although I'm not claiming success in that area, either), that once the suitcase is opened, it's empty. Once it's opened up, I've already moved on to someone/somewhere else. It's just much easier padlocking that sucker shut.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
A Life Without Memories
Today brought many highs and lows. One of the highs being, me getting a call from Best Buy saying my computer was ready. Low being, them saying my hard drive had to be replaced. My memory had been wiped clean.
This may not seem like quite such a problem to some of you, but those who know me well, know how much time I spend on my computer. Everything since March is gone. That was backed up when my DVD burner was replaced. But all the pictures, stories, story ideas, etc. that I had put on here since then were gone, and those are the big things. Then there are the smaller ones, like me having to spend time loading back-up programs--even re-installing my scanner and such. All the little pieces of memory I'd taken for granted are gone. And there's no going back.
Lately I've thought a lot about wiping clean our human memories. Twice since my return to LA, I've watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. In it, the Carey and Winslet characters choose to have a portion of their memories burned away. They want to forget about their times with each other. So, then I began to wonder if there were things in life that I would forget. After the first viewing I said there really wasn't much in my past (or people) that I would want to push out of my mind. Then, I went back to MO. For months I'd had this fabulous idea to post old diary entries on here. Nicole's blog was a big hit when she did this.
The idea turned out to be not-so-great. Until my recent trip, I'd remembered myself having a great childhood, but unfortunately, it seemed I only wrote when I was not happy with life. Hmmm. It's odd. Most people want to go back to their childhood. Me? I'm happier at 24 than I was at 4 . . . or 14. I couldn't bear to read my old diaries. Each old diary brought back more memories of growing pains, and it was truly painful for me to remember how I felt at times. I think next time I go home, I'm going to burn them. I don't want to remember the insecurities I felt as an adolescent.
Since my body's internal hard drive (how could I forget that stuff???) is already playing tricks on me, I figure it wouldn't be a big deal if my memory were wiped clean. I wonder if Best Buy's Geek Squad could do that for me?
This may not seem like quite such a problem to some of you, but those who know me well, know how much time I spend on my computer. Everything since March is gone. That was backed up when my DVD burner was replaced. But all the pictures, stories, story ideas, etc. that I had put on here since then were gone, and those are the big things. Then there are the smaller ones, like me having to spend time loading back-up programs--even re-installing my scanner and such. All the little pieces of memory I'd taken for granted are gone. And there's no going back.
Lately I've thought a lot about wiping clean our human memories. Twice since my return to LA, I've watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. In it, the Carey and Winslet characters choose to have a portion of their memories burned away. They want to forget about their times with each other. So, then I began to wonder if there were things in life that I would forget. After the first viewing I said there really wasn't much in my past (or people) that I would want to push out of my mind. Then, I went back to MO. For months I'd had this fabulous idea to post old diary entries on here. Nicole's blog was a big hit when she did this.
The idea turned out to be not-so-great. Until my recent trip, I'd remembered myself having a great childhood, but unfortunately, it seemed I only wrote when I was not happy with life. Hmmm. It's odd. Most people want to go back to their childhood. Me? I'm happier at 24 than I was at 4 . . . or 14. I couldn't bear to read my old diaries. Each old diary brought back more memories of growing pains, and it was truly painful for me to remember how I felt at times. I think next time I go home, I'm going to burn them. I don't want to remember the insecurities I felt as an adolescent.
Since my body's internal hard drive (how could I forget that stuff???) is already playing tricks on me, I figure it wouldn't be a big deal if my memory were wiped clean. I wonder if Best Buy's Geek Squad could do that for me?
Sunday, September 18, 2005
A New Year
Every summer my sister, mother and I would go shopping in Farmington for back-to-school clothes. Usually, I'd grown a few inches, so it was necessary to stock up on fall fashions simply because I couldn't fit into last year's fall apparel. As I got older, though, the back-to-school shopping sprees signaled to me a new year. It was a new beginning. Each school year brought a plethora of possibilities.
As I grew up, I still had my years start on a fall-spring calendar. College and Teach For America were both on school systems, and I found myself now using my own money to buy new clothes for the new year. Picking out the first-day ensemble was crucial. But it was how I knew that it was truly the first day of a new beginning.
Although school life is behind me now, Friday I went shopping for a new outfit for my first "real" job (teaching is still kind of "not real" to me). I came home with an old-woman sweater and silk skirt that were just what I was looking for. When I walk into the office tomorrow morning, I'll know that this day is special. My outfit is special. Maybe I didn't need it because I'd grown two inches, but I needed it because my life grew.
As I grew up, I still had my years start on a fall-spring calendar. College and Teach For America were both on school systems, and I found myself now using my own money to buy new clothes for the new year. Picking out the first-day ensemble was crucial. But it was how I knew that it was truly the first day of a new beginning.
Although school life is behind me now, Friday I went shopping for a new outfit for my first "real" job (teaching is still kind of "not real" to me). I came home with an old-woman sweater and silk skirt that were just what I was looking for. When I walk into the office tomorrow morning, I'll know that this day is special. My outfit is special. Maybe I didn't need it because I'd grown two inches, but I needed it because my life grew.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
The Ugly
Yes, I realize this blog is in three parts . . . but it's because I had three things that I wanted to share.
The last part is--last night I went to a fancy schmancy dinner at the Beverly Hills Regent Hotel (one of Pretty Woman fame) with a certain friend. The keynote speaker for the evening was Rudy Giuliani. Yes, it was a mostly Republican crowd (it was a dinner for USC's School of Business award winners and many of their video biographies included pictures with notable Republicans--G Dub. included).
Giuliani, the great speaker he is, roused the crowd with his six-facets-of-excellent-leadership speech, then answered questions at the end. One of which was "Are you going to run in 2008?" To which he replied, "Ask me in a year." Now, after Hurricane Katrina, I feel nearly certain that whatever candidate the Democrats choose is a near shoe-in. With Giuliani's political record and popularity, though, the Republicans would be complete idiots to not put him up as their go-to man. He could be the only man/woman that keeps the Republican hopes alive in 2008. He's a darn good speaker. And does a mean Italian mobster accent.
The last part is--last night I went to a fancy schmancy dinner at the Beverly Hills Regent Hotel (one of Pretty Woman fame) with a certain friend. The keynote speaker for the evening was Rudy Giuliani. Yes, it was a mostly Republican crowd (it was a dinner for USC's School of Business award winners and many of their video biographies included pictures with notable Republicans--G Dub. included).
Giuliani, the great speaker he is, roused the crowd with his six-facets-of-excellent-leadership speech, then answered questions at the end. One of which was "Are you going to run in 2008?" To which he replied, "Ask me in a year." Now, after Hurricane Katrina, I feel nearly certain that whatever candidate the Democrats choose is a near shoe-in. With Giuliani's political record and popularity, though, the Republicans would be complete idiots to not put him up as their go-to man. He could be the only man/woman that keeps the Republican hopes alive in 2008. He's a darn good speaker. And does a mean Italian mobster accent.
The Bad
If I hadn't told you before, my mother has MS. On my recent trip home, I spent time with my family, and this was definitely the worst I had seen her health in many years. I think it worried me so much because this was the first time that my father was not positive about her health. Before it was always, "She'll be around forever." This time he mentioned a "If something happened to your mom . . . " It was the first time that I've ever (in the 15 years she's been diagnosed with it) heard him verbalize the fact that something may happen to her.
After I came back and interviewed with the trade magazine, I called to tell my parents how well it had went. My mother was confused and not very coherent. After many calls between me and my sister, my sister finally insisted my dad bring her to St. Louis for tests. I think this is the first time one of her MS attacks may have affected her mind.
Being 1500 miles away, I don't know what to do. Part of me wonders what will be best for my family. Part of me is also jealous of my cousin Doug who buried his mom this past weekend. He was in his 60s before he had to say good-bye. There are few of us who are that lucky.
After I came back and interviewed with the trade magazine, I called to tell my parents how well it had went. My mother was confused and not very coherent. After many calls between me and my sister, my sister finally insisted my dad bring her to St. Louis for tests. I think this is the first time one of her MS attacks may have affected her mind.
Being 1500 miles away, I don't know what to do. Part of me wonders what will be best for my family. Part of me is also jealous of my cousin Doug who buried his mom this past weekend. He was in his 60s before he had to say good-bye. There are few of us who are that lucky.
The Good
I have (temporarily) given up full-time freelancing. Today I signed a contract for a full-time staff position.
Now, before I describe my job, I wanted to tell you a bit more about how I came to be OK with it. If I hadn't taken magazine publishing and been part of the only team to propose a trade publication, I would probably snub my nose at trade magazines. However, after a successful "run" for RLife, I early on became aware of the niceties of trade publications.
Thus, that is part of why I applied for my new position. I will be an associate editor for a trade magazine for owners of nail salons. The office is a 10-minute drive from my house--a commute almost unheard of in Los Angeles. I also get a fun perk--going on "reader calls" to salons. The magazine gives me a little money each month that is to be spent getting my nails done at one of our readers' salons. As far as the actual job goes, I think it will be a lot of responsibility, and that excites me: I'll be writing a couple of features a month and working on front-of-the-book pieces and maybe working some with freelancers.
This will be my last week of freedom--I start on Monday. Wish me luck. If I didn't tell you this on the phone, it's either because you didn't answer or because I have other things that are occupying my thoughts. I apologize. See "The Bad" for what else I'm referring to.
Now, before I describe my job, I wanted to tell you a bit more about how I came to be OK with it. If I hadn't taken magazine publishing and been part of the only team to propose a trade publication, I would probably snub my nose at trade magazines. However, after a successful "run" for RLife, I early on became aware of the niceties of trade publications.
Thus, that is part of why I applied for my new position. I will be an associate editor for a trade magazine for owners of nail salons. The office is a 10-minute drive from my house--a commute almost unheard of in Los Angeles. I also get a fun perk--going on "reader calls" to salons. The magazine gives me a little money each month that is to be spent getting my nails done at one of our readers' salons. As far as the actual job goes, I think it will be a lot of responsibility, and that excites me: I'll be writing a couple of features a month and working on front-of-the-book pieces and maybe working some with freelancers.
This will be my last week of freedom--I start on Monday. Wish me luck. If I didn't tell you this on the phone, it's either because you didn't answer or because I have other things that are occupying my thoughts. I apologize. See "The Bad" for what else I'm referring to.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
New-Media Commentary
Thanks to Maggie's blog, I realized that today google began a search engine for blogs. At first this was exciting, because I had been wanting to find blogs that were of interest to me without continuously hitting the "next blog" button at the top right corner. Then, I realized just how easily mine would be found by others I didn't expect to read it (such as students, stalkers, stupid-heads, etc.) FYI, if you have your name on your blog, others can easily find it now. I thought I was clever by not having my full name anywhere. Nope, my blog came up right away on their search engine (having my first name somewhere and my teacher name in a different post was enough for the google crawler to seek me out). Friends, know your blog will be easily findable from now on. Edit yourself if you must.
Second thing to note sort of involves google again. A Chinese journalist has been imprisoned by the Chinese government for releasing state secrets. Now, the hullaballo is that Yahoo! most likely helped put him there. (Sidenote: One thing I have to say for Yahoo!--at least its news site is publishing all the press about them, good or bad. I was a little annoyed at Good Morning, America this weekend when one of the only newscasts I caught in the past two weeks was dripping with positive commentary on the new Disney theme park in Hong Kong. No mention of the protests outside the park that the BBC did a good job of covering. Guess that's the price we pay for ABC/Disney's mega-media-domination.)
One of the possible kickers for the journalist was that Yahoo! released his personal email records (like when he accessed his personal account) to the Chinese government. Now, the journalist, like many other "careful" employees, had been using a personal email account from his work computer--I'm assuming so that prying eyes at work couldn't read his mail. Yet, I'm sure he didn't expect Yahoo! to open up and give away his personal usage information, but it did. Now before you gmailers start saying "whew! glad I'm not an idiot who uses Yahoo!" . . . apparently, Yahoo! isn't alone in pandering to the Chinese government. Google and Microsoft have helped the Chinese government out as well (so that means all Yahoo!, gmail and hotmail accounts are fair game in foreign territory).
Hmmm . . . so I'm starting to feel a bit like I don't have any privacy on the 'net these days. I guess anything, no matter how personal, I type or paste on the Internet may be visible to everyone with a computer. Might as well start that porn site and get it all over with.
Second thing to note sort of involves google again. A Chinese journalist has been imprisoned by the Chinese government for releasing state secrets. Now, the hullaballo is that Yahoo! most likely helped put him there. (Sidenote: One thing I have to say for Yahoo!--at least its news site is publishing all the press about them, good or bad. I was a little annoyed at Good Morning, America this weekend when one of the only newscasts I caught in the past two weeks was dripping with positive commentary on the new Disney theme park in Hong Kong. No mention of the protests outside the park that the BBC did a good job of covering. Guess that's the price we pay for ABC/Disney's mega-media-domination.)
One of the possible kickers for the journalist was that Yahoo! released his personal email records (like when he accessed his personal account) to the Chinese government. Now, the journalist, like many other "careful" employees, had been using a personal email account from his work computer--I'm assuming so that prying eyes at work couldn't read his mail. Yet, I'm sure he didn't expect Yahoo! to open up and give away his personal usage information, but it did. Now before you gmailers start saying "whew! glad I'm not an idiot who uses Yahoo!" . . . apparently, Yahoo! isn't alone in pandering to the Chinese government. Google and Microsoft have helped the Chinese government out as well (so that means all Yahoo!, gmail and hotmail accounts are fair game in foreign territory).
Hmmm . . . so I'm starting to feel a bit like I don't have any privacy on the 'net these days. I guess anything, no matter how personal, I type or paste on the Internet may be visible to everyone with a computer. Might as well start that porn site and get it all over with.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Photo Disclaimers
I realize I gave a run-down of my Missouri weekend in the last post, but I feel it necessary to explain some of the pictures from the weekend before I post them.
- Although the picture with Lee G. was not taken in MO, I figured I could include it because he's from Missouri.
- Every trip to the Midwest must involve onion rings with cheese and a chili deluxe from Steak N' Shake.
- The Moxie looked great--see for yourself! I did, however, forget to take a picture of Nicole or Dan at the Moxie--so I photoshopped them in for one . . . it's kind of what I think they'll look like celebrating the opening day of it on Sept. 21.
- Captain D's makes great fried okra.
- There is only one stoplight in my town--thought I'd document it for you all, but in reality it's not even a real traffic light, just a flashing one to warn of the stop sign. And it's not even in the town; it's out of city limits.
- An broke her glasses and had to repair them using duct tape.
- Katie met my sister, An and I for bowling. She left before the third game, which we turned into a bowling version of HORSE--that's why there's so many shots of weird bowling forms.
- It's a great picture of Melanie and I . . . hers turned out better, though.
- I surprised my dad and brother while they stared at the sky . . .
So those are just a few immediate disclaimers. Hope you enjoy them. Click here to see exactly what I'm talking about.
Monday, September 12, 2005
My Missouri Waltz
After my long weekend back to the big MO of the Midwest, I've been reminded of just how much I adore my home state. Summer and fall are my favorite seasons in the Show-Me State, and the leaves around the Valley were just beginning to turn autumn colors. The whole state smelled of sports--MU suffering (yet another) saddening loss to a no-name team and the Cardinals finishing up their final season in the current/old Busch Stadium.
Although it was for a not-so-happy event, I still got to see much of my extended family, and I was glad to have spent a few hours with relatives from all over the states. I was also happy seeing so many friends from the past. I was reminded just how much my friends mean to me and how giving they are as well. I hung out with An three times over the weekend; I was extremely impressed by Nicole and Dan's work at the Moxie (if Brad Pitt ever DOES show up, I will have a heart attack as soon as I read it on her blog); and Mel made a spur-of-the-moment trip to the Gateway City to have a Sunday morning breakfast with me. Sunday night I ended my trip doing one of my favorite Missouri activities--stargazing. My brother, dad and I went up to the lookout point at Taum Sauk, and I saw two shooting stars--don't think my wishes came true, though. Of course, I can't tell you what they were, but just being out in the open summer night air was enough for me.
Although I love LA, I know I'm a country girl at heart. When leaves changing colors, shooting stars and friends and family can make one this happy, it's easy to tell who's been raised outside of the cities. One of my favorite weekend activities was snapping green beans with my grandma and Uncle Pete. Mmm . . . fresh green beans. By the way, did I mention that I had fried okra and toasted ravioli, too??? And brought back a bottle of Pink Catawba and two of Riverboat Red? Yep. Missouri at its finest.
Although it was for a not-so-happy event, I still got to see much of my extended family, and I was glad to have spent a few hours with relatives from all over the states. I was also happy seeing so many friends from the past. I was reminded just how much my friends mean to me and how giving they are as well. I hung out with An three times over the weekend; I was extremely impressed by Nicole and Dan's work at the Moxie (if Brad Pitt ever DOES show up, I will have a heart attack as soon as I read it on her blog); and Mel made a spur-of-the-moment trip to the Gateway City to have a Sunday morning breakfast with me. Sunday night I ended my trip doing one of my favorite Missouri activities--stargazing. My brother, dad and I went up to the lookout point at Taum Sauk, and I saw two shooting stars--don't think my wishes came true, though. Of course, I can't tell you what they were, but just being out in the open summer night air was enough for me.
Although I love LA, I know I'm a country girl at heart. When leaves changing colors, shooting stars and friends and family can make one this happy, it's easy to tell who's been raised outside of the cities. One of my favorite weekend activities was snapping green beans with my grandma and Uncle Pete. Mmm . . . fresh green beans. By the way, did I mention that I had fried okra and toasted ravioli, too??? And brought back a bottle of Pink Catawba and two of Riverboat Red? Yep. Missouri at its finest.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
What's fo' sto' in MO?
Well, I should be totally packed by now. Instead I'm sitting here wrapped up in a blanket eating leftover Domino's pizza. Without a single item packed. But in less than four hours I'll be somewhere in the sky over CA on my way back to the Show-Me State. I don't think that I've looked forward this much to a trip to MO in a long time. What I'll be doing . . .
tonight: dinner with An--see we do see each other a lot!
Friday: peruse the Moxie in Springfield and see if the crew needs any help
Saturday: Aunt Ethel's memorial service
Sunday: something very Missouri--perhaps Elephant Rocks??? I LOVE that place!
Monday: ??? I fly back early afternoon
And that's my long weekend back to the big Midwest. Hopefully it will be lots of fun. Should be. Just hope all the humidity and mosquitoes are gone.
tonight: dinner with An--see we do see each other a lot!
Friday: peruse the Moxie in Springfield and see if the crew needs any help
Saturday: Aunt Ethel's memorial service
Sunday: something very Missouri--perhaps Elephant Rocks??? I LOVE that place!
Monday: ??? I fly back early afternoon
And that's my long weekend back to the big Midwest. Hopefully it will be lots of fun. Should be. Just hope all the humidity and mosquitoes are gone.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Everybody Loves Ramen
Today I cooked like my bazillionth bag of Ramen noodles. $0.15 a meal isn't bad, especially when you don't have a job. With my lack-of-effort in the job hunt field, I feel as though I may be doomed to Ramen noodles for quite some time.
So, I beg of you, please, please, please, don't let me not apply for jobs. We all know that too much Ramen isn't good for anyone. Unless you're 19 and live in a dorm room. Then it's OK.
So, I beg of you, please, please, please, don't let me not apply for jobs. We all know that too much Ramen isn't good for anyone. Unless you're 19 and live in a dorm room. Then it's OK.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
The Future Hasn't Come Yet?
Although I didn't get them yesterday at the Dodgers' game (passed them up for the more "adult" Dodger Dog), today I flashbacked to childhood and bought . . . Dippin' Dots. The 5 oz. peanut butter chip ones.
The side of the clear plastic bowl said, "Ice cream of the future." Now, call me crazy, but hasn't that been Dippin' Dots' slogan since they were invented? I sure know that was the slogan 14 years ago when I along with four other 5th graders rode the 1 1/2 hours to Cape Girardeau to take Saturday morning classes at SEMO and spent afternoons at the mall. Nearly every Saturday in Cape I would get Dippin' Dots from the pushcart stand at the mall. The other 5th graders got their softserve ice cream shoved in their faces by me; they didn't think it was that funny. They also got mad at me for calling Brooke A. an airhead.
But really, though, hasn't the future come yet for Dippin' Dots? I mean, the future has come for me--I stopped calling people airheads, and I stoppe . . . er, maybe Dippin' Dots will change their slogan when I stop shoving current-day ice cream in people's faces, though.
The side of the clear plastic bowl said, "Ice cream of the future." Now, call me crazy, but hasn't that been Dippin' Dots' slogan since they were invented? I sure know that was the slogan 14 years ago when I along with four other 5th graders rode the 1 1/2 hours to Cape Girardeau to take Saturday morning classes at SEMO and spent afternoons at the mall. Nearly every Saturday in Cape I would get Dippin' Dots from the pushcart stand at the mall. The other 5th graders got their softserve ice cream shoved in their faces by me; they didn't think it was that funny. They also got mad at me for calling Brooke A. an airhead.
But really, though, hasn't the future come yet for Dippin' Dots? I mean, the future has come for me--I stopped calling people airheads, and I stoppe . . . er, maybe Dippin' Dots will change their slogan when I stop shoving current-day ice cream in people's faces, though.
Monday, September 05, 2005
"Had Me a Blast . . . Happened So Fast"
After 24 Labor Days in the States, I still have no idea what they're here for. Not sure what the holiday symbolizes other than the end of summer. Granted, here in Southern California, I'm not sure it will even mean that--I'll still wear white; I'll still go to the beach, where there will still be hundreds of people that force me to question what they do for a living that allows them to go to the beach at 3 p.m. But alas, I do know that Labor Day technically means the close of summer fun here in America, just like Memorial Day signals the opening.
Summer 2005 began for me on a short trip to Arizona's Lake Havascrew--oh, sorry, Havasu (I've now posted the pictures here in honor of the end of summer). Roommates #1 and #2 and I were quite naive when making plans and had no idea what to expect. What it turned out to be was a weekend that reminded me that there are friendly folk out there. There are people who will talk to you. (It's just that most don't live in LA) But Memorial Day weekend was only the beginning to my summer funnin'.
Now, as summer will be over in about 14 hours, I thought I would use my TFArific skills and be self-reflective. This is my time to think about what has and has not happened in my life since Memorial Day (in no particular order):
-I've started this blog
-I've left two jobs without actually "quitting"
-I've realized that my job skills and knowledge aren't quite as invaluable as I once believed
-I have not changed the oil in my truck
-I've touched ground in four states and two countries
-I've crossed off at least two things on my 50 life goals list
-I finally watched the last two seasons of Sex and the City
-I bought a new perfume for the first time in three years
-I got a new cell phone that I LOVE
-I began reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X and still haven't finished it
-I've bought enough magazines to fill a small warehouse
-I've sworn off swearing off dating
-I've been on more of those eat-dinner-with-a-guy-you-hardly-know-in-order-to-get-to-know-him-and-he-pays thingies than I probably did in all of 2004
-I've gone shopping fewer times in this three-month period than I have in any other three-month period since college
-I've seen gas go up about a dollar a gallon
-I've written three articles and one essay that will be published this fall; another essay was on spec and will probably never see the pounding of a printing press
-I saw my first poem published
-I hung out with An for the fifth time in 2005--a record for any other friendships I know that span 1500 miles
-I spent the third out of the last four 4th of Julys with Emily
-I rearranged my closet
-I've come to like digital cameras a bit more
-I was reminded just how badly I need voice lessons (please, no comments, very sensitive about this . . . )
-I've had supervisory roles over two student teachers and two college interns
-I finished my two-year Teach For America commitment
-I unknowingly lost five pounds in NY--unlike the last time I was there and gained 13
-I've gone to more live music events than I have in any three-month period of the rest of my life
-I began eating peanut butter and jellies and drinking lots of milk again
-I realized how important writing is to me and how connected I feel to those who read my writing
-I was reminded how great pets are to have around
For now, that's the big and little of my summer '05. Here's to hoping fall '05 makes me just as happy . . .
As a cashback bonus award for those of you who've gotten this far, I've also posted pictures from my four-week cross-country road trip (Phoenix, El Paso, Denver, Minneapolis, Detroit, Niagara Falls, Binghamton, Dayton, St. Louis/Ironton, L.A.).
Summer 2005 began for me on a short trip to Arizona's Lake Havascrew--oh, sorry, Havasu (I've now posted the pictures here in honor of the end of summer). Roommates #1 and #2 and I were quite naive when making plans and had no idea what to expect. What it turned out to be was a weekend that reminded me that there are friendly folk out there. There are people who will talk to you. (It's just that most don't live in LA) But Memorial Day weekend was only the beginning to my summer funnin'.
Now, as summer will be over in about 14 hours, I thought I would use my TFArific skills and be self-reflective. This is my time to think about what has and has not happened in my life since Memorial Day (in no particular order):
-I've started this blog
-I've left two jobs without actually "quitting"
-I've realized that my job skills and knowledge aren't quite as invaluable as I once believed
-I have not changed the oil in my truck
-I've touched ground in four states and two countries
-I've crossed off at least two things on my 50 life goals list
-I finally watched the last two seasons of Sex and the City
-I bought a new perfume for the first time in three years
-I got a new cell phone that I LOVE
-I began reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X and still haven't finished it
-I've bought enough magazines to fill a small warehouse
-I've sworn off swearing off dating
-I've been on more of those eat-dinner-with-a-guy-you-hardly-know-in-order-to-get-to-know-him-and-he-pays thingies than I probably did in all of 2004
-I've gone shopping fewer times in this three-month period than I have in any other three-month period since college
-I've seen gas go up about a dollar a gallon
-I've written three articles and one essay that will be published this fall; another essay was on spec and will probably never see the pounding of a printing press
-I saw my first poem published
-I hung out with An for the fifth time in 2005--a record for any other friendships I know that span 1500 miles
-I spent the third out of the last four 4th of Julys with Emily
-I rearranged my closet
-I've come to like digital cameras a bit more
-I was reminded just how badly I need voice lessons (please, no comments, very sensitive about this . . . )
-I've had supervisory roles over two student teachers and two college interns
-I finished my two-year Teach For America commitment
-I unknowingly lost five pounds in NY--unlike the last time I was there and gained 13
-I've gone to more live music events than I have in any three-month period of the rest of my life
-I began eating peanut butter and jellies and drinking lots of milk again
-I realized how important writing is to me and how connected I feel to those who read my writing
-I was reminded how great pets are to have around
For now, that's the big and little of my summer '05. Here's to hoping fall '05 makes me just as happy . . .
As a cashback bonus award for those of you who've gotten this far, I've also posted pictures from my four-week cross-country road trip (Phoenix, El Paso, Denver, Minneapolis, Detroit, Niagara Falls, Binghamton, Dayton, St. Louis/Ironton, L.A.).
New York State of Mind
Time: 4:00 a.m.
Just finished watching final eight episodes of Sex and the City. Miss New York very much. Miss having weekend brunch or evening dinners with friends there. Miss having people who want to do everyday activities with me. Wish I had been at the beer garden tonight. Went through phone counting up friends in NY vs. LA. Wish my LA friends who did want to hang out didn't live quite so far away. Wired on caffeine. Body can't sleep. LA feels like the loneliest city in the world right now.
Don't know if I should post this. It's a little too dramatic, even for me. Thought I'd lighten the mood with a picture of me in a Spud Mackenzie shirt.
Just finished watching final eight episodes of Sex and the City. Miss New York very much. Miss having weekend brunch or evening dinners with friends there. Miss having people who want to do everyday activities with me. Wish I had been at the beer garden tonight. Went through phone counting up friends in NY vs. LA. Wish my LA friends who did want to hang out didn't live quite so far away. Wired on caffeine. Body can't sleep. LA feels like the loneliest city in the world right now.
Don't know if I should post this. It's a little too dramatic, even for me. Thought I'd lighten the mood with a picture of me in a Spud Mackenzie shirt.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Read, People!!!
Don't watch TV! I know it's much easier for me to say this considering we still don't have cable, but people, really, if you don't like the quality of broadcast news, DON'T WATCH IT!
Today during church, the minister made a comment about how an idiot journalist asked someone basically floating on a piece of driftwood, "Are you effected by this?" The minister went on to ask the (as-if-he-were-there journalist) "Where did you go to school?" I wanted to yell out, "USC!!!" just to mess with the rest of the ultra-Trojan-fan congregation.
Alas, we all-knowing J-School folk all know that a MU grad would NEVER ask such a silly question. However, my frustration was not just with the journalist. Obviously it's a dumb question, but I also wanted to tell my minister how ignorant he was by staying tuned to watch the news program. It is because people continue to get their news from shameful, stupid broadcasters that people don't like or trust media (yes, I know media is plural--I apologize for saying "media is" in a previous post . . . ). Now, not all broadcasters are bad reporters, but all in all broadcast news is not the most reliable source of news information. Nearly every educated person in America knows that broadcast journalists get their jobs based not only on their reporting skills but also on their haircuts, their accents (or lack thereof), their weight, their smile, etc. And just because Jane Smiley has a great bob and is a size 3 and is under 40 years old does NOT automatically make her the best disseminator of news. Yet, American idiots still choose her as the source of their news. Now, I know that there are great broadcast reporters out there--I do believe you can be beautiful and smart or talented, but because you are beautiful does not mean that you are smart or talented.
However, if being overweight and ugly makes you a great reporter, print journalists are the best there are out there! The most print editors care about as far as looks go is, "Can you fit inside a car? Great! You're in!" Really, though . . . print journalists are a dying breed thanks to current Western society, and we must save them! (I'll be taking donations for the overweight, mulleted journalists at the end of this blog)
There is an art to print reporting that is getting lost every day. Print is becoming all about service and old-people fodder. Our generation, the one raised as an ADD nation on Sesame Street, keeps turning to the 11 o'clock news as our only source. If you want, keep watching the 11 o'clock news, people, but READ as well. And don't just read it and take it as fact. Question it, ponder it, analyze it, analyze the writer--we print journalists LIKE when you do that to our work (don't really get that same feeling from the broadcast breed--have any of you mafioso noticed how few times the broadcast people chime into the ethics and reflection conversations on the mafia lists???). But just don't spend your time complaining about how much of an idiot a journalist is--you're the bigger idiot by continuing to get your news from that journalist and its media outlet.
If people would stop complaining about journalists and turn to multiple sources (i.e. many TV channels, newspapers, the Internet, magazines, etc.), they would have far less to complain about. You have choices of where you get the news, people. Not only is there freedom of the press, but there is more than one press. It's up to you to find the best ones. (Also, please let them know that I'm looking for a job . . . )
Today during church, the minister made a comment about how an idiot journalist asked someone basically floating on a piece of driftwood, "Are you effected by this?" The minister went on to ask the (as-if-he-were-there journalist) "Where did you go to school?" I wanted to yell out, "USC!!!" just to mess with the rest of the ultra-Trojan-fan congregation.
Alas, we all-knowing J-School folk all know that a MU grad would NEVER ask such a silly question. However, my frustration was not just with the journalist. Obviously it's a dumb question, but I also wanted to tell my minister how ignorant he was by staying tuned to watch the news program. It is because people continue to get their news from shameful, stupid broadcasters that people don't like or trust media (yes, I know media is plural--I apologize for saying "media is" in a previous post . . . ). Now, not all broadcasters are bad reporters, but all in all broadcast news is not the most reliable source of news information. Nearly every educated person in America knows that broadcast journalists get their jobs based not only on their reporting skills but also on their haircuts, their accents (or lack thereof), their weight, their smile, etc. And just because Jane Smiley has a great bob and is a size 3 and is under 40 years old does NOT automatically make her the best disseminator of news. Yet, American idiots still choose her as the source of their news. Now, I know that there are great broadcast reporters out there--I do believe you can be beautiful and smart or talented, but because you are beautiful does not mean that you are smart or talented.
However, if being overweight and ugly makes you a great reporter, print journalists are the best there are out there! The most print editors care about as far as looks go is, "Can you fit inside a car? Great! You're in!" Really, though . . . print journalists are a dying breed thanks to current Western society, and we must save them! (I'll be taking donations for the overweight, mulleted journalists at the end of this blog)
There is an art to print reporting that is getting lost every day. Print is becoming all about service and old-people fodder. Our generation, the one raised as an ADD nation on Sesame Street, keeps turning to the 11 o'clock news as our only source. If you want, keep watching the 11 o'clock news, people, but READ as well. And don't just read it and take it as fact. Question it, ponder it, analyze it, analyze the writer--we print journalists LIKE when you do that to our work (don't really get that same feeling from the broadcast breed--have any of you mafioso noticed how few times the broadcast people chime into the ethics and reflection conversations on the mafia lists???). But just don't spend your time complaining about how much of an idiot a journalist is--you're the bigger idiot by continuing to get your news from that journalist and its media outlet.
If people would stop complaining about journalists and turn to multiple sources (i.e. many TV channels, newspapers, the Internet, magazines, etc.), they would have far less to complain about. You have choices of where you get the news, people. Not only is there freedom of the press, but there is more than one press. It's up to you to find the best ones. (Also, please let them know that I'm looking for a job . . . )
Friday, September 02, 2005
Is This Bad?
Many things I could be writing about today with that headline . . .
First, is it bad that pretty much half of those who occupy the "my friend space" section of my myspace site are under 16? Yes, one student found me, now they've all requested me as their friend. How traumatizing that would be if I had hit "deny" . . . besides they put up fun comments and often send me messages. Makes me feel like I really made some kind of a difference last year. At least they liked me! Likability didn't matter when I was teaching, but I do like to know that now that I'm sans students.
Now, another "is it bad": that one of those 14-year-olds gave me career advice that I feel I must listen to? When my friends tell me things related to my career, I often feel like their comments and advice are clouded by their own job situation or attitude toward the publishing industry. This girl, however, told me something that I needed to hear. From someone who probably knows me just as well as my closest friends (anytime you see a person every day for 8 months, they get to know a lot about you).
Yesterday, her message told me, "So you still don't know what job you want yet? Well your[sic] still young so just take some time to have fun with finding a job that suits you first ." I guess it really hit home because it's good to know that a high schooler still thinks I'm young enough to not take life that seriously and that I have lots of time to figure it out. And finding a job that suits me will take time. Great advice, ex-student. I taught her everything she knows.
First, is it bad that pretty much half of those who occupy the "my friend space" section of my myspace site are under 16? Yes, one student found me, now they've all requested me as their friend. How traumatizing that would be if I had hit "deny" . . . besides they put up fun comments and often send me messages. Makes me feel like I really made some kind of a difference last year. At least they liked me! Likability didn't matter when I was teaching, but I do like to know that now that I'm sans students.
Now, another "is it bad": that one of those 14-year-olds gave me career advice that I feel I must listen to? When my friends tell me things related to my career, I often feel like their comments and advice are clouded by their own job situation or attitude toward the publishing industry. This girl, however, told me something that I needed to hear. From someone who probably knows me just as well as my closest friends (anytime you see a person every day for 8 months, they get to know a lot about you).
Yesterday, her message told me, "So you still don't know what job you want yet? Well your[sic] still young so just take some time to have fun with finding a job that suits you first ." I guess it really hit home because it's good to know that a high schooler still thinks I'm young enough to not take life that seriously and that I have lots of time to figure it out. And finding a job that suits me will take time. Great advice, ex-student. I taught her everything she knows.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Not as Sad . . .
OK, so this news isn't as sad as the previous post, but still it makes me want to weep a bit. According to the MIZZOUMAFIA sources, today is the day Dr. Ranly's retirement takes effect.
For $13.99 at cafepress, I thought about making shirts that fellow j-school weepers could purchase.
Front: Dr. Ranly gave me my B.J.
Back (after reading the post from a fellow mafioso): "Damn, that tastes good!"
For $13.99 at cafepress, I thought about making shirts that fellow j-school weepers could purchase.
Front: Dr. Ranly gave me my B.J.
Back (after reading the post from a fellow mafioso): "Damn, that tastes good!"
What's Katrina's Problem?
Although I've been doing well without television, I think the main drawback is the fact that I'm without constant video updates of the devastation of New Orleans. However, from what I'm reading, that could also be a good thing. I've been using my trusty Yahoo! news coverage to figure out what is going on. In times of a massive amount of available news on one topic, I've always found that print journalism does a far better job.
I must say that when I first started hearing the reports of Katrina's impact on New Orleans I was a little annoyed. "These people had been ordered to evacuate; it's their own fault for staying." Now me, being the heartless-biznatch I was, I've had to re-evaluate my thoughts. From a tourists' and outsiders' perspective New Orleans is often viewed as a city of slothenly mayhem. Alcohol and sex for drunk white people seems to be what it is best known for. But, like most cities in the U.S. there are the real people of the city. Those who live there. That is who I forgot about as I heard the first reports of devastation in New Orleans. The people who stayed--those were the people who couldn't leave. Money and means of transportation are not widely available to all. Nor is there always another place to go. And when you've got little, the prospect of leaving that behind is terrifying. So, there were people who had to stay. And I had forgotten about them.
And the government seemed to as well before this happened. Its previous actions/inactions and now, reactions, are honestly quite disturbing. Apparently for decades the government knew that the levees along the gulf coast were inadequate. They calculated cost-effectiveness, and well, money and the human lives of those there weren't important enough to cause it to repair them to withstand a natural disaster. (I also should point out that this has been a concern through reigns of both major political parties) Then there is the fact that there are STILL thousands of people without food, water, shelter--basic necessities. It's not like they're on some remote island in the middle of the Pacific. They are in freaking New Orleans. There are buses and helicopters able to come in. Mass evacuation is possible. But hey, "let's suspend them because we think someone shot at one of the helicopters!" Yes, shooting at rescuers is not good, but what can be expected (now expect a bit of more anti-racist rhetoric)?
New Orleans is a city that is over 65% African-American. According to one media report, whites there make nearly twice what blacks make. Thus, it's easy to see why we see fewer whites on the pictures--they had more of a financial means to leave the city beforehand. And those who are left behind . . . after working in at least two different ghettoes of the U.S. it's easy to see why these poor minority groups are upset with the rescue workers. We see poor blacks clinging to their children and belongings and white 20-something-year-old males covered in black uniforms holding machine guns standing nearby. Surprise, surprise but law enforcement officials are not highly regarded in poor communities. In L.A. I have had to sit back while the local law enforcement tried to "bring order" to local high schools. I have had kids tell me how they were arrested for skateboarding where an officer asked them not to. Granted, neither of these things should have happened, but in poor minority communities, officers (who are generally on a bit of a power trip) react far differently than they would in a white, middle-class community. And so, now in a place like New Orleans there is "lawlessness" where the residents wanted immediate relief from their suffering, and they're bitter they didn't get it. After a lifetime of slow-brewing poverty, is it wrong to expect that when their poverty is demolished into nothing they are upset? No. Is it wrong for me to assume that if a natural disaster hit someplace like Maine (which is I'm assuming majority white), the residents would have been quickly evacuated and cared for? (one of the few-publicized stories of the tsunami was the fact that there was an immediate mass exodus of the white tourists and ex-pats in the South Pacific while rescue workers left behind little for the non-white locals). Just get the National Guard in there and help them. Even if they're shooting. Not everyone wanted the National Guard in Iraq, but the Guard still went there to "save" people. But if the Guard can't even restore enough order in New Orleans to get rescue workers in, I wonder just how well they're doing in those overseas missions . . .
Then, there is the president's comments quoted from the AP article . . . "I think there ought to be zero tolerance of people breaking the law during an emergency such as this — whether it be looting, or price gouging at the gasoline pump, or taking advantage of charitable giving or insurance fraud," Bush said. "And I've made that clear to our attorney general. The citizens ought to be working together." Yes, Mr. Bush, I agree that the people at the top shouldn't be taking advantage of those who are suffering in the South. I also agree that taking someone else's valuables isn't acceptable either. But damn that woman who looted diapers for her baby. You should really fine her along with the pump peddlers charging $5.00 a gallon. Zero tolerance? Heck, let's put her in prison! Death penalty, anyone?
And speaking of looting, media is now in a tizzy evaluating itself. Why is it that the AP commented on two different pictures--both with victims carrying away food, and according to captions, the black person had been "looting" and the white people had "found" the food? Then, there are those journalists lamenting whether the term "looting" is in and of itself racist. I don't necessarily agree with that, but I do believe it is high time media take a step back to examine why certain words are used to describe the conditions or actions of people of different races.
Racism aside, there are few that will argue that not enough is being done, and the reaction is not quick enough; I don't think that will be changing any time soon, sadly enough.
I will leave you with a comment in the AP by Terry Ebbert, head of New Orlean's city emergency operations. "This is a national emergency. This is a national disgrace," he said. "FEMA has been here three days, yet there is no command and control. We can send massive amounts of aid to tsunami victims, but we can't bail out the city of New Orleans."
But don't worry, everyone's biggest fears were eased today. The New Orleans Saints announced their season will go on elsewhere.
I must say that when I first started hearing the reports of Katrina's impact on New Orleans I was a little annoyed. "These people had been ordered to evacuate; it's their own fault for staying." Now me, being the heartless-biznatch I was, I've had to re-evaluate my thoughts. From a tourists' and outsiders' perspective New Orleans is often viewed as a city of slothenly mayhem. Alcohol and sex for drunk white people seems to be what it is best known for. But, like most cities in the U.S. there are the real people of the city. Those who live there. That is who I forgot about as I heard the first reports of devastation in New Orleans. The people who stayed--those were the people who couldn't leave. Money and means of transportation are not widely available to all. Nor is there always another place to go. And when you've got little, the prospect of leaving that behind is terrifying. So, there were people who had to stay. And I had forgotten about them.
And the government seemed to as well before this happened. Its previous actions/inactions and now, reactions, are honestly quite disturbing. Apparently for decades the government knew that the levees along the gulf coast were inadequate. They calculated cost-effectiveness, and well, money and the human lives of those there weren't important enough to cause it to repair them to withstand a natural disaster. (I also should point out that this has been a concern through reigns of both major political parties) Then there is the fact that there are STILL thousands of people without food, water, shelter--basic necessities. It's not like they're on some remote island in the middle of the Pacific. They are in freaking New Orleans. There are buses and helicopters able to come in. Mass evacuation is possible. But hey, "let's suspend them because we think someone shot at one of the helicopters!" Yes, shooting at rescuers is not good, but what can be expected (now expect a bit of more anti-racist rhetoric)?
New Orleans is a city that is over 65% African-American. According to one media report, whites there make nearly twice what blacks make. Thus, it's easy to see why we see fewer whites on the pictures--they had more of a financial means to leave the city beforehand. And those who are left behind . . . after working in at least two different ghettoes of the U.S. it's easy to see why these poor minority groups are upset with the rescue workers. We see poor blacks clinging to their children and belongings and white 20-something-year-old males covered in black uniforms holding machine guns standing nearby. Surprise, surprise but law enforcement officials are not highly regarded in poor communities. In L.A. I have had to sit back while the local law enforcement tried to "bring order" to local high schools. I have had kids tell me how they were arrested for skateboarding where an officer asked them not to. Granted, neither of these things should have happened, but in poor minority communities, officers (who are generally on a bit of a power trip) react far differently than they would in a white, middle-class community. And so, now in a place like New Orleans there is "lawlessness" where the residents wanted immediate relief from their suffering, and they're bitter they didn't get it. After a lifetime of slow-brewing poverty, is it wrong to expect that when their poverty is demolished into nothing they are upset? No. Is it wrong for me to assume that if a natural disaster hit someplace like Maine (which is I'm assuming majority white), the residents would have been quickly evacuated and cared for? (one of the few-publicized stories of the tsunami was the fact that there was an immediate mass exodus of the white tourists and ex-pats in the South Pacific while rescue workers left behind little for the non-white locals). Just get the National Guard in there and help them. Even if they're shooting. Not everyone wanted the National Guard in Iraq, but the Guard still went there to "save" people. But if the Guard can't even restore enough order in New Orleans to get rescue workers in, I wonder just how well they're doing in those overseas missions . . .
Then, there is the president's comments quoted from the AP article . . . "I think there ought to be zero tolerance of people breaking the law during an emergency such as this — whether it be looting, or price gouging at the gasoline pump, or taking advantage of charitable giving or insurance fraud," Bush said. "And I've made that clear to our attorney general. The citizens ought to be working together." Yes, Mr. Bush, I agree that the people at the top shouldn't be taking advantage of those who are suffering in the South. I also agree that taking someone else's valuables isn't acceptable either. But damn that woman who looted diapers for her baby. You should really fine her along with the pump peddlers charging $5.00 a gallon. Zero tolerance? Heck, let's put her in prison! Death penalty, anyone?
And speaking of looting, media is now in a tizzy evaluating itself. Why is it that the AP commented on two different pictures--both with victims carrying away food, and according to captions, the black person had been "looting" and the white people had "found" the food? Then, there are those journalists lamenting whether the term "looting" is in and of itself racist. I don't necessarily agree with that, but I do believe it is high time media take a step back to examine why certain words are used to describe the conditions or actions of people of different races.
Racism aside, there are few that will argue that not enough is being done, and the reaction is not quick enough; I don't think that will be changing any time soon, sadly enough.
I will leave you with a comment in the AP by Terry Ebbert, head of New Orlean's city emergency operations. "This is a national emergency. This is a national disgrace," he said. "FEMA has been here three days, yet there is no command and control. We can send massive amounts of aid to tsunami victims, but we can't bail out the city of New Orleans."
But don't worry, everyone's biggest fears were eased today. The New Orleans Saints announced their season will go on elsewhere.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
